“It’s my life. It’s now or never.”
Or so the Bon Jovi song goes. Last year I wrote a post titled Looking Out For #1. However, I realized there was a lot I didn’t cover in that post. So, with a year of additional experience, I feel it’s incredibly important to revisit the topic of self-centeredness.
Who is life about? Is it about me? Others? God? Millions have fallen for the fallacy that I’d like to discuss here, and I don’t want you to be one of them.
What I Want.
Look around, and you’ll find yourself in a world of selfishness and pride. Sadly, we’ve been forced into this way of thinking. It’s a dog-eat-dog world after all. Beggars can’t be choosers. Nice guys never win. It’s a cutthroat industry. You can only look out for yourself. Being kind is a sign of weakness. Etc, etc. Read Paul’s warning in 2 Timothy 3:1-5, and you’ll see that his words are no longer just a warning.
This is the world I’ve been raised in. A world that’s constantly pushing me to pursue what I want, and toss others aside as soon as they’re no longer useful. At first, this strategy may seem to work. But as time goes on, it only leaves you feeling worse about yourself.
Now please don’t hear me wrong. Even if people are selfish, mean, and egocentric, we should still show them the love of Christ. Mother Teresa once said, “People are unrealistic, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway.”
The Right To Be Happy.
A top excuse for living a self-focused life stems from the belief that we deserve to be happy. It’s the ultimate trump card for justifying any action you take. Why did you do X to person Y? Because it made me happy. I have a right to be happy, right?
I’m sorry, where in the world does that belief come from? Certainly not from the Bible. Nowhere in scripture does it say we have the right to be happy. Conversely, Jesus says, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33b, NIV)
The right to be happy is a terrible excuse not only in theory but also because it allows you to do whatever you want on the basis that it makes you happy. It allows you to disregard all laws, as well as those you love most, in pursuit of happiness.
Notice what I just said. The pursuit of happiness. As much as our culture chases happiness, how many people are actually happy? A 2014 article by Emory University about the Declaration of Independence’s phrase, “the pursuit of happiness”, has this to say:
I think most people think “pursuit” in that phrase means “chasing happiness” – as in the phrase “in hot pursuit.” This would mean that “the pursuit of happiness” has to do with “seeking it” or “going after it” somehow.
How does this differ from what our nation’s founders meant when the Declaration of Independence was written?
It differs a lot! Arthur Schlesinger should be credited with pointing out in a nice little essay in 1964 that at the time of the Declaration’s composition, “the pursuit of happiness” did not mean chasing or seeking it, but actually practicing happiness, the experience of happiness – not just chasing it but actually catching it, you might say.
As much as we try to pursue happiness nowadays, we can’t seem to find it. I believe this is a result of tossing God out of the picture, and instead letting what we want come first.
Me, Myself, and I.
When we put our happiness above all else, we let what we want come first – before God and all others. We start to think we’re untouchable. I’ve seen it all the time in sports. I cannot tell you how many stories I’ve read about a famous athlete getting kicked off the team because of something in their personal life. They thought that since they were a professional athlete and making millions of dollars, no one could tell them what to do. They were wrong.
My point is this – the higher we elevate ourselves, the easier it is to come crashing right down. Elevating ourselves is never a recipe for success, nor does it lead to lasting happiness. Jesus told us that to be elevated we must first humble ourselves. I can’t say I see a lot of humble people in the 21st century – most just care about their success, regardless of the cost.
There’s a quote by entrepreneur and YouTuber Iman Ghadzi that struck me. He said, “If you don’t humble yourself God will humble you, and when God humbles you, it’s with a ferocity you can’t even imagine.”
Either we humble ourselves and in turn be exalted, or we exalt ourselves and wait for the day when God will humble us. Luke 18:14 (NIV) declares, “For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Center of the Universe.
For thousands of years, it was universally accepted that Earth was the center of our galaxy and that everything revolved around us. Until Nicolaus Copernicus came around and straightened things out. It must have been an eye-opening experience. One day you think everything revolves around you, the next day you realize your life revolves around the sun.
Tragically, I think humanity remains stuck in this frame of mind. We still think everything in the world should bend to our will, instead of acknowledging that there is a higher power (the Son) that our lives need to revolve around.
Selflessness will always reward you more than selfishness. Instead of making the world about you, make it about leaving a positive impact. As John F. Kennedy declared in 1961: “Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country.”
Isolation.
Selfishness isn’t the only way to make life about you. Isolation is another way. When we close ourselves off to the outside world, we ignore the gifts and abilities we’ve been given. We’re saying that what we want is more important than what God wants. Covid taught us the dangers of isolation. The more we shut ourselves off from the world, the easier it becomes for the devil to infect us with lies.
Jesus told an incredible parable in Matthew 25:14-30, known as the Parable of the Talents. The story begins when a man gives his servants bags of gold. The first servant gets five bags, the second two, and the third gets one. These bags of gold represent our gifts and talents.
The master then leaves, and immediately the first two servants get to work multiplying the gold they’ve been given. When the master returns, the first and second servants announce that they’ve doubled their gold. The first has ten bags, and the second owns four. The master congratulates them both and says, “Because you have been faithful in little, I will now put you in charge of much!”
Then servant three comes. He says, “I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.” Angrily the master replies, “You foolish servant! You should have at least put my money in the bank, where it would have gathered interest!”
I hope you see the moral of the parable. Jesus asks us to use our gifts to bring glory to His kingdom. We are to use what we’ve been given to reap more fruit, not isolate ourselves and hide our treasure in the ground. Don’t make life about you by hiding your God-given gifts. Use them, please.
Who do we exalt?
On a clear night, take a look at the sky, and you’ll see millions of stars. Psalm 147:4 (NIV) says, “He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.” God knows the name of every star in the universe. Don’t you think He also cares about you? In exchange, I’m more than willing to dedicate my life to glorifying Him.
Contrary to popular belief, life is not about pursuing personal happiness. It’s a fallacy to live that way, because it offers no lasting joy. If it did, we wouldn’t see celebrities, millionaires and athletes going to jail and committing suicide at rapid levels. In the same way, we shouldn’t isolate ourselves from God’s will – it makes us lonely.
My friend, please do everything out of humility and selflessness. If that’s the only thing you take away from this post, I’ll consider it a success. You get to choose: humble yourself before God, or be humbled before God. Take your pick.
As author Max Lucado said,
“God can’t fill you when you are already full of yourself.”
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