The Fallacy Sessions: Failure Crushes Dreams

Ever failed at something?

If not, that’s impressive. At one time or another, all of us will fail. It may be a small failure, or it could be a massive one. In preparation for that day, there are a couple of things you should know.

Failure doesn’t have to be the end. Here are a few life lessons I’ve taken to heart, because believe me, I have failed before.

Mistakes aren’t always bad.

Now you’ve likely heard this before, and while it doesn’t make failure any easier, I do find it reassuring. Mistakes are how we learn. It’s not easy, but it’s true. The disciple Peter made a ton of mistakes and said a bunch of stupid things, but it was because of the rebukes Jesus gave him that he became a powerful disciple.

Mistakes teach us a lesson. They show us how we can improve for next time. If I hadn’t gone through the experience of writing countless “mistake” blog posts that were never published, would I be the writer I am today? If I didn’t slip up and go through hard things, would I be the person I am today?

Mistakes suck, sure they do. But if you only view them as “mistakes”, you’ll get locked in a downward spiral. Here’s what I’ve tried to do instead: when I mess up, instead of getting angry with myself, I think about what I learned from the experience. If there’s something I did wrong, I’ll take it to God and ask Him what He wants me to take away from the situation. There’s always a great lesson on the other side of failure.

And of course, I keep on going. As Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

Failure isn’t the end.

As a writer, you kinda have this baked-in mindset that failure is the end-all-be-all. If you fail to write your book, if you fail to land an agent or a contract, if you fail to sell books, if you fail to build an audience – it’s over. Your dream was wasted. But this just isn’t true. Failure isn’t the end, as long as you get up again and keep trying.

J.K. Rowling’s book was rejected 12 times. Stephen King’s first novel was rejected 30 times. Dr. Seuss faced rejection 27 times before his inaugural story was accepted. So why are these all household names? It’s simple, really. They didn’t let failure get them down. Rather, they looked to the bright side and kept improving their craft.

Because here’s the truth: Failure doesn’t kill dreams. Quitting does. The devil wants us to feel ashamed of our mistakes; he wants us to quit. The devil knows the potential we have if we keep going, and he does everything possible to make us give up.

Try and fail, don’t fail to try.

If you had the choice to either attempt a difficult task with a large chance of failure and a small chance of a big payoff, or never try in the first place, what would you do? In life, we’re faced with choices. We can either attempt difficult things and risk failure (but also success), or stay in our shell.

Jesus asks us to do hard things. Things that may not always succeed. Things that may embarrass us. But ultimately, these things will have a major eternal payoff. There comes a moment in all our lives where we can either put in the work to do what’s hard or live forever thinking about what if. Let me ask you, which is worse: the shame of trying and failing, or the shame of never knowing what would’ve happened if you had tried?

Of course, we can take this too far. My friends and I love coming up with crazy video ideas (such as jumping off a garage roof into the bed of a truck). Does this mean we should always try everything? No. Jesus doesn’t tell us to do dumb stuff. Jesus does tell us to do difficult stuff.

If you asked Him, Jesus would say He lived a life of no regrets. I know we’re flawed human beings, but I deeply hope you aspire for the same. Don’t let failure weigh you down. Don’t say no to Jesus’ call on your life, because the joy of success is always better than living in what if.

Your response.

As I grow older, I continue to make mistakes, yet I’ve also had my share of realizations. Today I challenge you to be okay with the possibility that everything you do won’t succeed. I want you to remember that everyone fails.

I need to remember – as do we all – that it isn’t necessarily our success that shapes our character, it’s our response to failure. What will we do when things don’t go our way? As Alfred so aptly put it in the final film of the Dark Knight Trilogy: “Why do we fall sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.” So we can RISE.

Please, don’t let a failure mindset crush your dreams. Failure isn’t permanent unless you make it so. Don’t live in constant fear, thinking what if I fail? Instead, trust God and remember this Francis Chan statement: “Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.”

Remember, if you seek to glorify God in all you do, that’s already a win.

I would never ask you to do something I wouldn’t do first. So keep your eyes open, because on December 31st, a special post is coming out. I’m working on something I never imagined I had the skills for. I may fail, and that’s okay. I just want you to know I’ll keep going, regardless of what happens. Will you?

In the words of legendary inventor Thomas Edison…

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”