Growth Points: Fight Against Comparison

Who you are, not what you have.

“For what was glorious has no glory now in comparison with the surpassing glory.”
-2 Corinthians 3:10

It was early 2023. A young Samuel James was about to start designing a website, something about writing, life, and faith. He was at an age where many of his peers were getting jobs, but he wasn’t. That wasn’t where he felt God calling him at the moment. Unlike some of his friends, he wasn’t part of a sports team, club, or organization. He felt like he was on the outside.

And he started to compare. He glanced to his left and saw people with money, and he wanted that. He looked to his right and saw friends receiving awards, recognition, and accolades because of their gifts and hobbies, and he wanted that. He saw people making friends in public school while he sat at his desk at home, and he wanted that.

Dejected and discouraged, he slammed a fist into his pillow. This constant battle and struggle was not what he wanted. What was wrong with him? Why did he feel empty all the time?

The answer was comparison.

Today’s growth point is…

Shortly after the bloodiest fighting in my war with comparison, I wrote a post about The Game Where Everyone Loses. If you’re interested, it goes deeper into the battle I fought. However, today we need to ignore what happened to me and instead focus on who God made me to be.

We know we shouldn’t compare ourselves with others. Someone will always have the bigger house, newer car, more powerful computer, larger platform, cooler name, more friends, etc. But we keep comparing.

Let’s see what Jesus said about comparison.

In His Words…

In Matthew 7:1-2 Jesus says,

“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.”

Wait, what does that have to do with comparison?

I think comparison and judging would make great roommates. Isn’t that what comparison is, after all? We’re judging another person because we think we need something they have (let’s call it entity X). Inadvertently, we’re also judging ourselves, saying that we aren’t good enough without X. We’re also judging God for not giving us X. This is a threefold hazard.

In Matthew 7:3-5, Jesus tells us not to harp on the speck in your friend’s eye while ignoring the log in your eye. Comparison draws our focus away from us and what we can do for the Kingdom, and instead makes us focus on what others have or are doing. When we invest 100% of our energy comparing ourselves to others, we invest 0% in living out Jesus’ calling. The devil’s game is to divert our attention onto other people (comparison + jealousy + envy + judging) so that we ignore our sin and the work Jesus wants us to accomplish.

Comparison only leads to judging and self-neglect.

Room to Grow.

Fast forward to June 2025. I was out driving, and my thoughts drifted to the topic of comparison and jealousy. It’s a path I’ve walked frequently. But on this day, as I travelled down the road of comparison, I got sideswiped by a figurative tree.

As my brain thought about everything everyone had that I thought I wanted, God asked me a question,

“Why does that matter?”

I had no response.

Before I advance to our action steps, can I get you to pause and ask yourself the same question? Why does (fill in the comparative blank) matter? Why does it actually matter that you don’t have X?

1. Internal Comparison

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
-Theodore Roosevelt

Comparison starts on the inside, not the outside. It comes from a desire to be better than we are, to have more than we have, to do more than we’re able to do. This is good…unfortunately, we’ll only achieve these things and be made whole in Heaven. If we had everything we wanted now, we’d start to believe this world is Heaven. Since it isn’t, life on Earth will suck at times.

Comparison is an inward desire to appear better externally. Nowhere in Scripture will you find this concept. Conversely, you’ll find the exact opposite. 1 Samuel 16:7b says, “People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

Comparison is attempting to throw an external mask over an internal struggle. God doesn’t care that you don’t have this person’s car or that person’s personality; He cares about your heart. Even if you compared yourself to the top, God’s love for you wouldn’t increase. He doesn’t love your house, He loves your heart. He doesn’t love your sports car, He loves your service. He doesn’t love your charisma, He loves your character.

I will never overcome comparison by telling myself, “You know, I don’t really need that…God wouldn’t want me to have it…” An internal challenge can only be conquered internally. If you struggle with comparison, take it into prayer. Ask God to reveal His will, and pray for a spirit of contentment. Remind yourself that God has given you what He’s given you for a reason.

2. External Comparison

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
-Galatians 1:10

While comparison is rooted in our sin nature and materialism, it usually manifests in jealousy or selfish desires. Aside from it being counterintuitive to Commandment #10 (don’t covet), comparison makes it harder to engage with those around you. Comparison has a way of driving every other thought from your head, so that all you see is what you want.

Naturally, I asked God how to get past this barrier. I wrote His answer down word for word in my journal:

“In this next season, I want you to focus less on what you can do for people and more on who you can be for them.”

I immediately knew God had hit the nail on the head. Comparison misdirects our attention from who we are to what we have, what we can/can’t do, and what we want. It makes our lives impersonal. Jesus didn’t come to earth for what He could do; He came to save whoever would believe in Him.

In Summary.

Before closing this page and moving on, I challenge you to stop focusing on what you want or have. Rather, zone in on who God wants you to be. We do not earn salvation by our works or possessions, and we’ll be led astray if we try to do so. As Christians, our aspiration should never be to covet material things. (See Matthew 6:19.) That will not draw others to Christ. Our goal is to become like Jesus and lead others to know Him.

But what if I don’t have the money or ability or personality to do that?

It’s not about what I have or don’t have, but who I serve. So, who do you serve? An impersonal God that cares about what we can accomplish, or a loving God who values our devotion above all else?

Comparison cannot leave me fulfilled. It didn’t and it doesn’t. Please don’t make the same mistake. God made you and crafted your life for a reason. Everything you have is according to His will and His plans. He knows what you need when you need it. The Creator of the Universe knows exactly what you need, and when you need it. Comparison is believing the devil’s lie of, “Did God really say…?” Don’t fall for it.

Remember,

“The only person we should compare ourselves against is Christ.”