God Speaks (a message from Samuel’s dad)

Hey WLF readers. This is Samuel’s dad, Jason. I recently shared with Samuel what I think is a pretty cool (and crazy) God moment that I experienced recently. He suggested that this could be a guest post on WLF, so I wrote it out. I hope it’s an encouragement to you. We sometimes have those moments when we’re in despair, and we wonder if God is actually there and listening when we pray. That’s where this all comes in.

Sleep Troubles

To give you a bit of back story, it’s been a long time since I’ve slept solidly through the night. For the past few years, I sleep for a couple of hours, then I’m awake for an hour, then I fall asleep again for a few hours, then I’m awake again. This continues throughout the night, every single night.

When it first started to happen, I was extremely annoyed and tried everything I could to figure out what the issue was. No kind or amount of sleep aids helped, and I was getting more tired and grouchy by the week. I would constantly complain about my lack of sleep. Finally, I did what I should have done in the first place, and I prayed about it. 

A Call to Pray

I still remember what I sensed God was saying to me back then. It was Him who was waking me up, and this was actually a calling on my life to pray. At that time my prayer life was okay, but nothing great. God knew that if He left it up to me, I would struggle to find significant amounts of time to pray during the hustle and bustle of my busy life. So this was His way of gifting me big chunks of time to pray. 

As soon as I realized and accepted this, I was at peace with the whole sleep thing. Now I get to spend a few hours every night praying for my marriage, kids, family, friends, church, co-workers, and anything else that He brings to mind. I don’t know how long this calling will last, but by now I’m hoping it will never end.

If I ever get to the point where I sleep through the night again, I’ll probably end up setting my alarm for the middle of the night. These times have been so rich!

Questioning God

So it was during the night that this God moment took place. I was awake and praying as usual, but this particular night it was a real struggle between me and God. This past Christmas season was not a particularly joyful one for me. The last few months have just felt really HEAVY. There are health and relationship issues in our extended family, and we have lots of close friends who are struggling with some major things. 

While Christmas was still okay, it did not have the same feel it normally does. Coming out of that, I’ve had some rough moments, and this night was one of them. Like David in some of the Psalms, this night was less praying and more me getting angry with God. I cried out, “God, you’ve been waking me up, and I’ve been faithful in praying every night for these things, and I don’t see a change in any of them. Are You even there?”

I was in a state of complete overwhelm, and it was one of the lowest moments I’ve had in a long time. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been so angry with God.

A Dream

After I calmed down a bit, I fell asleep again. While I was sleeping, I had a dream. I don’t usually have dreams, or if I do, I don’t remember them. But this one is burned in my memory. I was on a ship, and we were out in really rough waters. Waves were crashing in from all sides, and the ship was starting to go down. The captain was sending out an S.O.S. distress signal in hopes that someone would hear it and come rescue us. I asked the captain if there was anything else we could do, and he said, “No. You just keep sending out the S.O.S.” 

At that point, I woke up from the dream, my heart pounding because it felt so real, and the sound of that morse-code S.O.S. was still in my ears. I instantly knew what the dream was telling me: when you’re overwhelmed and you feel like you’re going under, what you need to do is pray and send your “S.O.S.” to God.

However, instead of comforting me, this thought made me even more angry with God. I cried out to Him in my mind, “I have been sending my S.O.S. to you, and I’m still going down! That’s the problem! Are you there?” In hindsight, I recognized the irony of me asking God if He was there right after He spoke to me in a dream.

God Speaks

This is where the crazy part comes in. We’ve all had moments where in our anger or doubt we’ve put out a fleece to God and said something like, “If You’re there, then prove it. Do this or that and I’ll believe.” That’s what I did. I’m not proud of it, but in the moment, it came out of a hurting heart.

We all know God usually doesn’t (and shouldn’t) respond to these requests. He is sovereign and knows what He is doing even when we don’t see it. He doesn’t owe us an explanation or any proof. But this time, He did respond, and it almost scared the life out of me. Immediately after I said those words, “Are you there?” in my head, there was an AUDIBLE voice that said, “Jason, I am here.” 

I was so freaked out and I looked around to see who said that. It wasn’t my wife’s voice, plus she was sleeping. While I was trying to determine if that actually happened, I heard it again. “Jason, I am here.” Twice God spoke in an audible voice, and it was life-changing.

God knew that I was struggling to grasp the reality of this, and so He threw in one extra thing for good measure (and because He has a sense of humour). The voice spoke again, and said, “Look at your alarm clock.” I was confused and was still trying to come to grips with this voice, so I didn’t look. Again, the voice said, “Look at your alarm clock.” 

I finally rolled over and looked. Everything was dark in the room, and I just saw the glow from the clock. It said, “S.O.S.” on it. Tears started rolling down my cheeks, and I was trying to figure out how this was possible. It took me a while to realize, but it was 5:05 am. Coincidence? Not a chance.

God met me that night in a way that I’ve never experienced before and may never experience again. Hopefully this encourages you as it did me. Just because you may not be seeing answers to all your prayers yet, that doesn’t mean that God is not listening and is not working in the background.

Is God there and does He hear us and speak to us? Not a doubt in my mind.