180 Degrees: Love Your Enemies

An eye for an eye.

Math Joke: When you need the King of Measurement, ask for a ruler.

The phrase “love your enemies” sounds great in theory, but as soon as it becomes personal, it’s hard. It is not easy to wish good on someone who has hurt you.

We all respond to injustice differently. Today I’m covering a short list of common responses, found in Romans 12. Truth is, Jesus commands us to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44). However, I hope you understand that loving our enemies and condoning their actions are two very different things. Jesus loves us; He doesn’t love our sinful actions.

Human nature is opposed to forgiving, let alone loving, our enemies. Human nature would rather grow bitter, take revenge, and launch a nuclear warhead at their house. To understand how Jesus could love the men who killed Him, let’s shift our mindset…

180 Degrees

Romans 12:17-21 (NLT) says a lot about loving our enemies and responding to those who hurt us. Before we begin, let me say again: Forgiving someone doesn’t excuse their actions. God will give everyone what they deserve. Jesus wants us to forgive so we don’t fall into sin, revenge, or bitterness because of someone else’s sin.

Whatever we’ve gone through, Jesus has gone through worse. If anyone had an excuse not to love and forgive, it was Jesus. So, let’s dive into a case study on Romans 12. (P.S. I also encourage you to memorize the chapter.)

Revenge (Romans 12:17)

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honourable.

Most of us enjoy revenge stories. Look at the cinema, and you’ll see innumerable movies with the same plotline: The protagonist’s home/village/family were killed or destroyed by a villain, and they spend their entire life seeking revenge. As an old joke goes, “Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.”

But is revenge good for us?

A Lesson from Inigo Montoya

I want to pull an example from one of the greatest revenge stories ever: The Princess Bride. (Contains Spoilers.) After watching his father die at the hands of the six-fingered man, Inigo Montoya devotes his life to revenge. In the film’s final act, Inigo kills the six-fingered man, enacting vengeance. Here’s what he said afterward:

“I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it’s over, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life.”

Revenge is fulfilling in the moment, but it offers no lasting satisfaction. I can’t undo what’s been done by taking revenge on whoever did it. All that creates is a blood feud. As an old proverb says, “When you look for revenge, dig two graves.”

Revenge may hurt someone else, but it hurts us too. We often cite the Old Testament command of “a life for a life, an eye for an eye” (Exodus 21:23-25). What we forget is that an eye for an eye makes us both blind. These laws were in place before Jesus, when God’s standard was Law. When Jesus came, His standard became love. Jesus’ birth, death, and resurrection took the power of revenge and replaced it with the power of love.

Bitterness (Romans 12:18)

Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

Since most bitterness problems have a starting point, we must address the root of bitterness. You can define this as “revenge without action”. Bitterness is holding our hateful and victimized feelings inside. Countless studies have shown the cost of bitterness, even going so far as to account for premature death.

Internal bitterness kills us, well, internally. Reflecting and reliving what others have done doesn’t make it right, nor does it make us feel better. The solution is surrendering those feelings and thoughts to God, and discussing our hurts with pastors, family, and leaders.

Please don’t hold on to bitterness. Jesus gives us the choice between being bitter and being better. Bitterness is revenge against yourself, and it destroys peace.

To quote Ephesians 4:31-32 (NLT), “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behaviour. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

None of us deserve forgiveness, but God gave it anyway.

Forgiveness (Romans 12:19)

Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord.

Everyone pays for their sins. We can either enact human vengeance or wait for God’s eternal vengeance. He will pay them back. Instead, we should forgive others as Christ forgave us. 1 John 1:9 (NKJV) says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”

We must also remember that if we don’t forgive others, God will not forgive us (Matthew 6:14-15). If we want forgiveness from God, we must forgive those who sin against us. We all know that isn’t easy. But it sure wasn’t easy for Jesus to forgive as He hung naked, nailed to a wooden cross, his flesh covered in blood and whip marks, dying.

The Bible contains the word “hard” twenty times more often than the word “easy”. Jesus calls us to do what’s hard. He knows that we grow through Hardship Lane, not Easy Street. Hardship draws us closer to Jesus, the ultimate suffering servant.

As Bernard Meltzer said, “When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.” Jesus forgave those who sinned against Him, and He forgives you and me for sinning against Him. While that cannot alter the past, it does alter the future.

Love (Romans 12:20)

Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.”

Love is taking forgiveness one step further. Like a parent’s love for their child, God first loved us: unconditionally and without reason. No, He doesn’t love everything we do, but He loves us. Love isn’t reliant on actions, it’s reliant on who He’s made us to be (His sons and daughters). Romans 5:8 (NLT) says, “But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” That’s some kinda love. It’s the love of God.

To discover the secret behind loving those who hurt you, let’s examine David’s life. Saul chased him in the wilderness and tried to kill him repeatedly. No one would have blamed David for harbouring bitterness, or for taking revenge on Saul in the cave. Why didn’t he take revenge or grow bitter? David was filled with a love greater than any human hate. David wasn’t willing to give up God’s love for human revenge.

Jesus was filled with supernatural, God-given love. It was this love that enabled Him to pray forgiveness over men who laughed at and ridiculed Him. It’s the love that enabled David to act as he did towards Saul, never once raising a hand against him.

If you need that love, ask God for it. He will fill you with a love greater than any earthly hate or bitterness. His love is stronger, and His love is greater (see 1 Corinthians 13). Remember, love does not come from God – God is love.

Conquer Evil (Romans 12:21)

Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

When others oppress us, hurt us, or burn our world to the ground, we have three choices: 1. Embrace evil, 2. Let evil corrupt us, 3. Fight evil with good. We can give in and let evil conquer us, or we can defeat evil by doing good.

In God’s eyes, forgiveness is a better form of “vengeance” than actual revenge, because it’s so unexpected. The devil sure didn’t see it coming. To live like Christ, revenge is not an option. Never once did Jesus harbour bitterness against someone or take revenge – He only acted in righteous anger.

Choosing forgiveness and love isn’t easy, but it’s how we show the love of Christ. It’s also how we grow our faith. Bitterness and revenge are not Christ-inspired attributes. They only destroy us and leave us empty, like an internal self-destruct timer. Will you join me in choosing love and forgiveness, even when it isn’t easy? Will you embrace His love and forgiveness? And will you pour it out on others as He did 2000 years ago?

In the words of Corrie ten Boom (who faced some serious enemies)…

“You never so touch the ocean of God’s love as when you forgive and love your enemies.”